Innocence
by loonyloonylupin
Summary: Sirius gets a visitor he never expected to see again who makes him remember that he still has a godson who needs him and he is not dead yet. Non-Slash I have decided to continue this fic and have it explain Sirius POV during book 3, R&R please!
1. A visitor

Huddled into a corner of the most guarded cell in Azkaban, Sirius Black laid his head of matted hair against the cold and dirty stones that made up his hell. Sometimes the cold of the stone helped force him to remember that he was alive...alive and innocent.  
  
I'm innocent, I'm innocent  
  
But tonight Sirius found that these thoughts were not strong enough to keep away the memories of Godric Hollow and the family that was inside. He could still see James on the floor, his hazel eyes wide but determined while beautiful Lily laid on the floor of her son's room, the son she died to protect. And where was he? He was nothing more than a murderer. He had destroyed the life of his best friend, more like his brother, by telling him to switch to Peter.  
  
I'm innocent, I'm innocent  
  
At first his heart filled with anger and rage, damn Peter to hell!! He was always such a follower, tagging along hoping either Sirius, Remus or James would pay him more attention than usual. They had called him a friend...some friend he turned out to be giving all of them up for his new power hungry friends. Sirius was ashamed of this more than anything else, he had forced James and Lily to switch to that little, worthless rat. Suddenly his body was racked with sobs of guilt, pain and most of all loneliness. It was his entire fault and nothing could change that. He would rather James and Lily be alive and hate him utterly then let them be dead. He would die if only they could be brought back.  
  
I'm innocent, I'm innocent  
  
"Sirius....." That voice slowly brought the sobs at bay as he picked his head up to look towards that voice. A voice he had not heard in years and one he had not expected to hear for more years to come when he would finally die and be free from the hell he called existing. When he actually managed to look up upon the face that had haunted his dreams since he was placed in here he shook his head in negation. "...James...no...your d-de-dead..." The "James" in front of him nodded sadly and lowered to kneel in front of him. "In the morning you will not remember this...but you will. I am dead...but you are not-" At this Sirius tried to interrupt him but James quieted him "You are not dead and will not be for some time...You are Harry's godfather...You must go to Harry do you understand?...He's at Hogwarts...The one you seek is at Hogwarts."  
As the shade of James started to rise Sirius reached towards him "No...James please don't leave me here...I am sorry...I should never have told you to switch..." James just smiled and as he melted into the stone but his voice came back once more- "Go to Harry Sirius...we will be together again soon enough...Go to Hogwarts..." And then Sirius knew nothing.  
  
I'm innocent, I'm innocent  
  
The next time Sirius awoke he had a feeling that something huge had happened, but rather than think of it he switched to his dog form. As a dog thoughts were easier for him to bear and simpler than a human's the dementors could not steal them. The dog heard a large commotion and thinking it better, turned back into the human Sirius. Almost as soon as he had changed a somewhat familiar man passed by and stopped in front of the bars to look in. Cornelius Fudge. For the first time in the last few days Sirius was thinking pretty straight as he looked up to the current minister of magic. "Well, if it isn't the famous Sirius Black. How are you doing today?" "I am just fine minister. How could I not be wonderful in these beautiful conditions you threw me in?" "Well it was not I who murdered my supposed best friend and wife...Good day Black" Sirius would have liked to ring the man's neck at that moment but just smiled and noticing the newspaper asked politely. "One more question Fudge...Could I possibly look at that newspaper? I do miss the crosswords..." Fudge glanced at him suspiciously and then without another word threw him the paper and walked away from his cell. Grabbing the paper Sirius didn't even get past the first page when he looked down in shock...there on the front page was a family of wizards who had won a prize and was in Egypt. And on the shoulder of what looked like the youngest boy was a rat...a rat that looked very familiar. "Peter....He's at Hogwarts....Harry...." And then words suddenly came back to him as if from a memory. "You must go to Harry do you understand...He's at Hogwarts...The one you seek is at Hogwarts." It was at that moment that Sirius Black made the final decision, he would have to escape as a dog and make his way to Hogwarts. "I will not make a mistake again James...."  
  
I'm innocent, I'm innocent 


	2. The start of a misson

I have been asked to continue the story of Sirius and he getting out of Azkaban so here it is- Chapter two. The story from now on will in Sirius' point of view and I have a mind to continue writing most of the important parts of book three through Sirius' point of view. Tell me what you guys thing!  
  
"Go to Harry...The one you seek is at Hogwarts."  
For some reason the thought of James saying that came to my head, as if from a far away dream of mine. It was too outrageous to comprehend, James was dead and none of my wanting it to be false would change that. In the past the thought that I was innocent had managed to keep me as sane as possible but since that eerie night with the dream the words "He's at Hogwarts" managed to keep the bad memories and fears at bay. This resemblance of sanity was of course barring that the dementors around me constantly. I was usually their favorite person to bother; I was the "infamous Sirius Black" after all, the murder who had turned on his best friend.  
The dream had told me what I needed to know and now all I had to do was make the plans. I had decided the best way to get out of this hell was to sneak through the bars as a dog and somehow make my way to Harry and that traitorous rat. Picking up the scrap of the newspaper fudge had given my and placing it in a small pocket of my tattered, disgusting robes I changed into a dog and sat waiting for the dementors to give me the tray of food that was required. Peeking out as much as Padfoot's head would allow I felt my tail wag at the creatures moving towards my door. Taking a few steps back as the door of my prison opened I was able to slip in between two blind dementors and out of the cage.  
Without another moment's hesitation Padfoot was running down the long hall of cages and I could help but look left and right seeing the other prisoners who I had heard all those years but not seen. I would feel pity if they had not been death eaters in the past and so the organ that had once resembled my heart felt nothing for these disgusting foul creatures. I even took a few moments to look into the cage of my cousin Bellatrix. Giving a growl at the foul being that actually shared my blood I felt no remorse when I turned my back on her and continued towards the front doors and freedom.  
  
A few hours later I dragged the weary body of Padfoot onto the mainland and shook to get rid of as much of the frigid water as possible. Taking one good look at the freedom around me, I collapsed on the edge in weariness knowing nothing but darkness.  
  
Once I came to again I was no longer wet nor was there any light. I had woken from the best sleep I had received in 12 years, no doubt due to the fact that I had escaped Azkaban and the dementors. Since it was night I switched back to my normal human form and moved towards the water to splash it on my face and as the water settled from the ripples I had made I was shocked. Placing my hands on my face to make sure it was truly mine I stared in shock. 12 years had made me unrecognizable. My hair was all the way to my elbows, my face was thin, waxen and my eyes...I looked more dead then alive. And maybe that had more truth then I cared to realize. I no longer was half the man I once was all those years ago. Turning my thoughts away from that I took off the robes that were horridly dirty and slipped into the cold water, having my first time being clean in who knows how long.  
Once I got out I had no choice but to put the robes back on, but I had at least made myself into some resemblance of cleanliness. Moving back into the forest and shadows I could not deny anymore that I was ravenous for some true food and changing into the dog once more I went hunting for some small animal. Raising my noise into the air and sniffing around I was glad to realize that there was food close by. Taking off at a run I let the dogs instincts take over and was able to sneak up and catch a rabbit with no trouble. Laying the carcass in-between my paws my jaws easily went at work ripping the rabbit apart and enjoying the taste of real meat and a real meal.  
Finishing the rabbit I rose and wiped the blood from my mouth and paws before once more changing to my human form. I was not afraid to be in my human form because first no human, wizard or muggle, was stupid enough to live near Azkaban prison and secondly I was in the middle of the forest. There were only animals to hear and see me now. Curling my knees to my chest for warmth I wondered if I had done the right thing. Freedom was, not scary, but so different since I had last enjoyed it. The man I had once been, the handsome pranker, was long dead and all that was left was a resemblance of a once happy man who had everything to look forward to. The thought of my future also ran in my head. I would kill Peter, I would avenge James and Lily, but after that what would happen? If anyone even remotely believed my story I would still have no life to look forward to.  
And then I wondered what had happened to Remus? I knew that he thought I was the murderer and if I could even find him would he believe my side and listen? But I knew that no matter what I would kill Peter, I would have my revenge, but after that I had decided that anything else didn't matter. Harry....  
My godson how had I been so stupid to forget that! Of course something else mattered. I would get him out of Lily's sister's house and make a home for the two of us. I owed it to James and Lily to take care of the boy that I had loved as a child yet no longer knew. As I fell into a peaceful sleep I wondered fleetingly if he still looked as much as James as he had as a baby and if his eyes were still as strikingly green as Lily's.  
  
When the sun shone into my eyes early the next morning I jumped awake not remembering where I was and why I was seeing sun. I had escaped; I was the first person to even escape Azkaban prison and its dementors. For the first time since I lost everything I felt my lips curve into a smile. I had not smiled in so long it felt weird as if I was no longer Sirius Black but in some other body who knew what it was to feel happiness. Running my fingers over my upwards curved lips I was in shock and wondered what it would be like to laugh, or even talk to another sane person. My voice was so underused would it be able to do anything but scream as I had while enduring night after night of nightmares?  
Unwilling to contemplate this at the moment I rose and took care of my body's necessities as well as food for the morning. Once these few things were taken care of I decided that it was time to make my way towards Surrey where I knew Harry must still be living with those relatives. I don't know why I had to go to Surrey but something told me that I must see Harry before I went to Hogwarts so I could at least put to rest the thought of what he looked like. With that decided I changed once more into the form of the large black dog Padfoot and began the long journey to Surrey and the son of my best friend in the world. 


	3. First view of Harry Potter

The next few weeks were spent traveling towards Surrey England. I tried my hardest to avoid any animals or people, especially people. Though I was sure no one alive but Remus and Peter knew of my dog form I didn't want to bring any suspicions my way.  
The closer and closer I moved to civilization the more I heard about the renegade and killer Sirius Black. I was shocked to hear that even muggles were talking about me, Fudge must have told muggles some falsity to get them to take me seriously and help bring me back to Azkaban. If someone would just sit and listen to my story I could prove that it was Peter who was the spy, and if we could get the rat to show himself what better prove was that! Just the thought of Peter made my dog form growl with rage, little tiny worthless traitor but soon I would have him and I knew that I would not be satisfied until my teeth had the chance to rip him to shreads.  
  
I had stopped in a small town only about a day travel from Surrey when I finally had to change back into my human form. I could feel the dog aspect of my brain taking over and since this was the longest time I had ever been a dog for one continuous time period I was afraid I would lose the ability to be and know the actual Sirius.  
Sniffing the air one final time as a dog and sensing no human or animal presence I transformed back into my human self. Stretching my arms and legs I gave a sigh settling into fetal position and laying on the ground. I suddenly remembered why I had really enjoyed being a dog for so long, the complicated thoughts of being a man suddenly started to hit me. Being so close to Harry only made me think of his parents and even though the first thoughts of them were bad times, I was also able to maintain the good as well. I remembered James and Lily's wedding with me as James' best man, James finding out he was going to be a father with me as godfather and then finally Harry's first Christmas and one of the last time we were all truly happy.  
I suddenly hated myself with such unbelievable passion I did not know where it came from. I was truly the murderer Fudge and the world claimed I was, just not in the way they believed it to be so. I was not the one who physically led Voldemort to the house of my best friends but in my actions it's what I had done. I was no worse then the rat. It was at that point that for the first time since their deaths that I sobbed and cried before I had no more energy but to sleep.  
  
It was many hours before I was once again in the land of the living and able to get to my feet. Wobbling for a few moments I stretched and then continued on my walk through the more wooded areas of where I was. I knew that soon enough I would need to change back into the dog but I was enjoying the relative freedom of walking as a man for now. As I came to a neighborhood I switched back into the large dog and continued walking down the road sniffing at some of the garbage cans. I was desperate for food, there was nothing else left for me to do but eat garbage. It was not one of my prouder moments but it was a necessity for survival. I was lucky this morning, some family had thrown away a pretty large chicken and without another moment's hesitation I let the dog take over and enjoy the free meal in front of me. It might have been a day or so old but I could never remember chicken tasting so good.  
Even though I was shooed away I had gotten enough to keep me for at least the rest of the day if it was necessary and that was the important fact. Another important thing to happen that day was that I had finally made it to Surrey.  
I had been to this house only once before when Lily had asked me to deliver a gift to her sister for the birth of her nephew that she would never see or know. The child was the same age as Harry and since she was near to giving birth she could not make the trip and James was just unwilling to leave her side for anything. That and he had hated Petunia with a passion. So they had asked me to make the delivery for them and I of course could refuse them nothing. It was a quick little trip anyway and as soon as they answered the door and saw that I was a wizard had given me nothing but trouble. No wonder James hated them, they were both horrible muggles. Petunia was the exact opposite, grumpy, not at all attractive and had none of Lily's light and happiness whatsoever. Vernon was fat and nasty. I had given them the gift and before I could say who it was from they had slammed the door in my face.  
Looking upon the house I saw that it had not changed a bit. It was the same two level house with the same plants, colors and everything. It was at this point I heard some yelling from inside and moved behind a large bush my dog ears perked. It was something about parents dieing in a car crash and being a burden on hard working relatives. I couldn't see what happened after but the next thing I knew I saw a skinny boy walk out the door dragging a large trunk and a large man chasing after him- "Come back here boy!" The boy turned around and even my dog form gasped in surprise. It was James all over again. "No! She got what she deserved! I have had enough, I'm leaving!" and then the boy once again without looking back moved down the street and the large man turned back into the house where a shrieking woman remained.  
I on the other hand went behind the house and using backyards followed after Harry who suddenly stopped a few blocks away and sat down looking miserable. It was at this point I got my first real good look at him. There could be absolutely no doubt in anyone's mind who's son that was. He was a skinny, too skinny, 13 years old boy with dark hair that stuck up in exactly the same way as James. He even had the same face with the same glasses on them. I couldn't stop staring at him, it was as if he was a perfect reincarnation of my best friend and his father. I had such a strong desire to go up to him and see what I could get out of him but knew that this was not the time. No, our meeting would just have to wait. Harry began to rummage through his trunk when he suddenly rose, back rigid. He must of sensed my presence but at that moment I could not stop staring at him. He turned around and raised his wand shouting "Lumos" and staring right at me.  
I met the brilliant green of Lily's eyes. He must have been shocked by my presence because he backed away and then tripped over his trunk with a loud pop. Without another thought I turned and ran down the street away from the godson that had brought back far too many memories and thoughts. Now that I knew what he looked like I had to start my long journey to Hogwarts and that worthless rat that is just waiting for the right moment to strike at my godson. This was war... 


	4. A pairing

Thank you to all my reviewers!! It's a first for me to get so many good reviews that I love to see, please keep up the writing it helps to see what I can improve! It was mentions that a reviewer liked the third person POV better then Sirius' POV...well this chapter will still be in Sirius' POV but if you review and say you want the third POV I will write that from now on. Leave comments, I love them and my reviewers as well thanks guys!!! Also, someone mentioned that Sirius can most likely appreciate back and forth but from reading the book I gained the impression that he did not do so and chose to travel in his dog form.  
  
After that night I saw Harry for the first time I was constantly trying to push away memories of the best friend my godson so resembled. My days were spent traveling from Surrey all the way to London and Hogsmeade. I had decided that I would spend a few days there before making my final stretch to Hogwarts and the rat. The trip to Hogsmeade was longer then I had expected and once I got there for a day all I did was sleep and eat whatever my dog senses could find.  
After recovering from the exhausting trip I began to walk around the streets trying to steal some food from any wizard or witch who would look my way. Since I was a dog I pretended to be a pleasant, sweet, lovable stray and surprisingly it worked really well for getting food. The one thing that was disturbing for me was the abundance of wanted posters with my human face on it. Sometimes I just sat in front of one and shook my dog head in disturbance and annoyance. Giving a soft whimper which was the equivalence of a human sigh I padded away and again ran into the darkness.  
  
A week later....  
  
I had now taken residence in the forbidden forest that the marauders had explored so long ago in our student days, and for the first time in 13 years I felt like I was home. I could always see the castle that held so many good memories, the lake, the quidditch pitch and the grounds that I loved so much. I always saw groups of students wandering as they moved from class to class. Was Harry among those groups? Was Harry friends with the boy who owned Peter? While I was wondering on this a different smell reached my nose as I turned to the left to see a large ginger cat with an ugly squashed face. Its bright crimson eyes narrowed as it spied me from a distance. Before I could try to communicate with him he turned and ran away back towards the castle that I could not get into at the moment.  
  
I continued to watch the children and even see that cat from my distance in the dark forest. Every day the cat came closer and closer and sometimes I could send a word of greeting to him before he turned and ran. With the feline out of reach I turned to finding the boy and Peter. One clear and bright afternoon I espied the boy who owned him. He had flaming red hair, pretty tall for his age and freckles across his nose. The single problem I had found was that he also happened to be the best friend of Harry. I rarely saw one without the other. Oh Peter Lady luck, dam the bitch, was on your side. The final Potter was so close to him and all he needed was a reason to finally show his worth to Voldemort. This was going to more complicated then I had anticipated or wanted. Now it seemed to be imperative that I get into Gryffindor Tower and kill that rat. There was also another girl that was often with them, she had large bushy hair and was a bit shorter then the two boys and always with a book.  
  
~That is my mistress.~  
  
I blinked and turned to again meet the bright eyes of the ginger cat who obviously had gained enough courage to finally talk with me. Perhaps I had found a comrade in my quest to get Peter?  
  
~She is friends with those two boys?~ I asked  
  
~The tall one does not like me because I have been trying to get rid of that rat who reeks of treachery. Stupid human thinks he is a normal rat, but I know better. You are not a dog either~  
  
It was not a question but a statement. I nodded my dog like head and the cat sniffed at me cautiously.  
  
~ You have a similar smell but not of treachery. Why have you come and look so intently at my mistress and her friends?~ His squashed head tilted as he watched me curiously.  
  
~I am here to get rid of the rat and I have a connection with the dark haired boy human.~ I was shocked that this seemingly innocent cat was so much smarter then he appeared to be. He was the smartest of his kind I had ever met, he must be half Kneazle.  
  
~I have been where he sleeps at night. He calls out for a man and a woman sometimes. Are you that man he calls for?~  
  
Oh god...Harry dreams of James and Lily? I felt my heart go cold as I shook my head and sat down whimpering involuntarily. ~No, those he calls for are long gone, but I am here to make up for that loss.~  
  
The cat tilted his head like sensing my sadness and despair before purring softly ~I will help you...We will get rid of the rat.~  
  
~I need to get into Gryffindor tower~ At the cat's look of confusion I remembered that I had to state it simply. ~Where your mistress and the boys sleep...that is the tower.~ The cat's face suddenly comprehended what I said and turned staring towards the castle.  
  
~I know the way and I believe there is something going on that the children are still in the large room where the head sits and the four large tables...~  
  
~The great hall?~ I ask and then I remember, its Halloween. No, forget the implications those 14 years ago...forget Godrics Hallow. ~The rooms and halls will be empty and it will be easier for us to get to the tower.~  
  
As I suspected there was not a single person around the halls and both the cat and I easily reached the tower without seeing a single soul, live or ghost. Once we were down the hall from the tower I tried not to cringe of returning memories. I stopped suddenly right before we reached the portrait entrance and could see in my minds eye phantom forms of Prongs and I ripping his invisibility cloak off from a late night trip and laughing about how clever and smart we were.  
  
Oh Prongs...how I have wronged you. Oh how I miss you dreadfully.  
  
~It is right ahead~ The cat watched me carefully and I nodded suddenly thinking of something.  
  
~I am going to transform into a human before I am seen by the portrait, I need my disguise to stay that way. Hide in the shadows, there are many watchers around these corridors and if anyone sees you, you could be recognized and that would be bad for your mistress.~  
  
The cat thought on it for a moment and nodded. ~I will find you again in the forest.~ And then he was suddenly gone into the shadows leaving me with memories and my task.  
  
Changing back into my human form, I rose in the darkness and took the last few steps to stand in front of the fat lady who looked down at him without thought.  
  
"Password?"  
  
"I..."My voice was so hoarse; it felt like I had never used it in my life. Coughing to clear it a bit I hoped it might get rid of some of the phlegm. "I don't have it...but I must get in to get a rat that's all I want. Let me get the rat and I will be gone from here."  
  
She looked at me and I knew she remembered who I was. She shook her head and started to call an alarm. Snarling I reached into my robes looking for something and then found a knife. I could head sounds and suddenly began slashing her picture, she had to stop!! If they found me and returned me to the dementors, oh god no anything but that! I was so desperate for her to be quite that I didn't think and just began slashing the picture to shreds. "Shut up! If you had let me in, this could have been so much easier!" I was breathing heavily by the time I was done feeling oddly better that I had gotten some anger out, the painting on the other hand was destroyed and the fat lady had run away crying. I turned to find Peeves laughing as he moved down the hallway.  
  
"Sirius Black is back from the dead! Too bad you can't bring Potty the first back, you killed him and now you're after his son!" I watched in horror as Peeves just laughed as he said that, there was nothing funny about James being dead! I was about to open my mouth when I heard more movement and in fear took to the shadows before changing back to the dog.  
  
I ran through the shadows of the castle, trying to stay out of the sight of any ghosts or portraits I saw. If I could get to one of the secret exits out of the castle I could easily get away from the hunting party that was now searching the castle for me. Every few moments I would stop listen to any sounds and hide if I heard anyone around. When I had finally managed to get out of the castle I headed straight for the forest and an evening of thinking about the life that could have been if not for a stupid secret keeper who had betrayed his friends. 


End file.
